There are no books that I know of that take on the business of training and living with a cat. On the other hand, there are shelves and more shelves of dog training manuals. Take your pick.

I think I could write a training manual for cats. It would be very short. And funny. Only very recently have I gotten Violet to do what I want. And it wasn’t much fun getting there. Cat owners talk about being trained by their cats.

I suppose if I were a true night owl her bedtime antics would make me laugh. They don’t make me laugh now. I’m incensed, enraged that this foreign, leaping creature wakes me from a sound sleep to get me to notice her and play with her. I tell her to go away. I try deep breathing and relaxation. She returns and leaps on my chest or just across my body.

A short book. A very, very short book.